It's been 84 years...

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Hi folks!

   I know this is the first time I'm posting in... what, 5 years now? Wow. Well, in the few years I've been away I've grown in many ways. Creating things has become such a bigger passion in my life, and since I've been working and making my own money I've been able to actually pursue that passion in small ways.

   However, I'm also in university so the fact that I work full time and go to college as well takes away so much time in my life which also makes pursuing that passion difficult. Mostly I'm just trying to figure life out right now. Like I said, I'm in college and I work full time, but I know that what I'm studying and the job I work at aren't what I want to do with my life. I want to create things to share with people, and I don't know how to realistically go about that. This is causing a ton of inner stress and conflict in my life and making me dread going to work and school anymore, which I absolutely wish wasn't happening!

I have always been my happiest at conventions and just sitting down and creating things, and I absolutely miss that. Life seems to have gotten more... conflicting? I think that's the word I'm looking for. I work overnight now because when I was working retail I never had a set schedule because of my school schedule, so now I don't sleep well and I feel like I spend all day sleeping! It's ridiculous! I don't want to live like this but it's so unrealistic in my life right now to work part time again because I have bills to pay, and I can't quit school because 6 months after I have been out of school I have to start paying on my student loans and my first semester won't count towards a degree in 4 years. In short, I'm more than halfway through my degree progress so I might as well finish, as much as I don't really want to anymore. 

Honestly, I wouldn't mind writing academic research papers for the rest of my life but again, I don't feel like that's a realistic job. If you guys can't tell, I'm just really conflicted right now because I had this epiphany on Monday that I'm basically miserable since I've taken such a huge break from creating things and preparing for conventions. In other words, I'm going to try to be more active and spend a ton of my extra time creating things and trying to do the things that once kept me sane and happy.

Also, as a side note: if you guys have any suggestions for a good drawing tablet that's not crazy expensive (but also has pressure sensitivity) as well as a cheap (preferably free) program to stream games and stuff to Youtube and Twitch I would appreciate it <3

Thanks for being you,

Dia <3
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